What To Do With Folks?

Two of the most important humans in life to me are at odds with one another. Their reasons for keeping a significant distant is quite understood from my perspective. One feeling offended by past behavior and in said offense, offering uncomfortable behavior in return. The other feeling offending by present behavior, distances in an attempt to thwart more of the same. Now, although I have clearly picked a side, I will not divulge said choice. But its important to know that I love them both dearly and long for the day when we can share peaceful and joyous memories together. However, in the mean time and in between time, I am in the sticky place of balancing my emotions over the situation. Wishing I had the power to fix things, but fully accepting of the fact that I do not. Being careful not to mention the name of either too often, so as not to arouse a conversation that will leave me even more perplex and up in the air. I have decided to let Karma, The Universe & the willingness of these human spirits work it out as I remain as much of a bystander as I can.

Offering advice and direction only when asked of me. There’s no telling what will come of it in the end, all I can do is keep a steady head for them. Support the side I’ve chosen and try to get the other side to see the logic, sensibility and love on the opposing end. Try to get them to change their way of thinking so that peace can be restored. And hope that peace is actually what they want. It has been a pleasant thing to see that each in their own way, has expressed a desire to see the distance come to an end. How that actually comes about will be up to them. I’m trying to, in every possible way, eulogize their efforts so as to support them both on the way to becoming closer and more whole as individuals.

On a more specific note, one of my nearest and dearest has ghosted me. I’m truly not sure what to think of it. I have gone through a myriad of emotions over this situation. Surprise, concern, upset, frustration, worry, irritation, anger, disrespected, ignored, confused, pissed-off, and more. My typical response to a person behaving this way is simply to shrug my shoulders and move on with life…..Without Them. Turning a blind eye to their life and any future interest of theirs in mine. I have learned to sever ties with a fairly decent amount of ease. But this individual is one of my Precious Six. A group of 3 men and 3 women that have showed a love and loyalty to me strong enough for me to call them brother or sister and make them my family. The time, love, money, energy, years, dedication, memories, and efforts put in to these relationships are equal to blood. You don’t walk away from that without a truly good reason.

But right now, my only reason is that my feelings are hurt. Little hurt or big hurt is irrelevant. What matters is that I hurt and one of my Six is the source of said pain. The largest part of the problem is that they will not communicate with me and I am not sure why. I have tried to reach out in every possible way and even sent word through a mutual friend. Their response to the third party was that they were unaware that I was trying to reach them. Which by any social medial and technological measure is wholeheartedly untrue. And still….they have not made a move in my direction. I’m tired of trying to figure out what’s wrong, what’s going on and what this is all about. But more than that, I miss my friend and am tired of my feelings being hurt. I am stumped and my upset has me teetering on the razor’s edge of just tossing in the towel and resorting to The Ole Standard method of handling things. But that method is reserved for those who don’t mean to me what this individual does. So what to do?